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Make
Your Sex Sizzle with Foreplay
By Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed
The importance
of foreplay is often underestimated and minimized or even ridiculed.
The informed experienced lover will know that not only is foreplay
one of the most passionate ways to sweep his woman off her feet,
but it also increases intimacy, develops trust and care, promotes
emotional connection, deepens love and has the ability to enhance
his satisfaction as well.
First and foremost, adequate foreplay is
essential to a woman's satisfaction and her ability to achieve orgasm.
Women need extended stimulation to reach optimal arousal. Adequate
foreplay consists of
at least 15 minutes, but preferably 20 or more. This is very important
for couple's to know. Many women have difficulty reaching orgasm
or experience dissatisfaction with their sexual adventures and often
the only cause of these difficulties is the lack of adequate foreplay.
Foreplay is physiologically necessary for women's pleasure, not
an unnecessary request she has created to make things more difficult
for the male. You can never spend too much time on foreplay. It
can only enhance the sexual encounter and the relationship even
more.
Barefoot
Venus Bath & Body!
Foreplay has many other important purposes
to keep in mind. It shows your lover that you care about her and
her needs. The way you touch your woman indicates to her how you
feel about her and the way you feel about her impacts how she will
respond to you sexually and how pleasurable the sex will be for
her. It promotes emotional connection and deepens intimacy, which
are two more necessary components for sex to be satisfying for the
woman.
It is not only the female that benefits from
foreplay. On a biological level foreplay induces lubrication for
the woman and erection for the man. Taking time to sensuously explore
and relish one another's bodies can significantly help with male
sexual problems such as premature ejaculation or impotence, creating
harder erections, increased stamina and more satisfying sex for
the male as well. As men grow older they may not get erect by sight
alone as they once did in younger years, extended periods of touching,
kissing and caressing can provide the necessary stimulation needed
for erection. Foreplay also builds passion and generates fire making
for a more electrifying sexual adventure for both male and female.
Foreplay can include much more than basic
touching, kissing, holding and caressing. It can also consist of
words and behavior that will enhance the excitement and passion.
In addition to kissing, touching
and holding you might try giving her a loving compliment, expressing
affectionate feelings or giving her a gift such as flowers, bath
goodies or lingerie. Foreplay does not always have to begin
immediately preceding the sexual act.
For a very special treat and to really light
her fire foreplay that begins in the morning and lasts all day will
work even better by producing a loving seduction. The scenario might
go something like this: you prepare your lover breakfast or bring
her tea and present it to her with a big kiss, before you leave
for the day place a sweet love note in a special place for her to
find, when you leave for the day hold and kiss her with a deep passionate
kiss, then call her later in the day from work and asks how her
day is and tell her you love her, or in the call tell her how much
you want her and you can't wait to taste her, later that day send
her flowers or when you come home from work bring her a beautiful
gift, when you come in the door once again she is greeted with hugs
and kisses, before dinner you give her a bath and caresses her feet
or you take a shower together, after dinner you clean up the kitchen
and tell her to go rest, then you join her in the living room and
give her a full body massage and spend at least 15 minutes holding,
kissing and licking. By this time her body will be aching with desire.
This little dance will reap many rewards
for you. No, it's not realistic that you would do all of these activities
each time you want to make love, but once in awhile would make her
feel real special and
make her appreciate you so much. You will dazzle your woman and
have her melting in your arms. The loving act would be remembered
and generate a reciprocal effect in which she will want to please
you and the relationship will grow stronger and deeper.
Sensuous undressing is another powerful form
of foreplay that can stimulate and intensify sexual desire. Undress
her very slowly with lots of soft gentle kisses on the exposed body
parts. Focus on one
piece of clothing at time. Look in her eyes while unbuttoning or
unzipping. Let her take your shirt off. Let her feel your chest
against hers. Hold and caress before moving to more action.
Another trick to prolong satisfaction and
build even more desire is that once you have participated in some
extended stimulating foreplay and both of you can hardly stand it
anymore, then take the foreplay just a little bit further and escalate
your hungers to new heights.
As always, communication is the ever-important
factor in great sex. If your lover is not meeting your foreplay
needs, then you need to speak up and let them know. Tell them what
you need or what you would like to try. If speaking the words out
loud is too difficult then literally show and guide him. Men, ask
your woman what she needs. You can assume that some basics all women
will love, but they will also have individual needs. You don't want
to do something she doesn't enjoy.
The enlightened lovers participation in foreplay
is not begrudging or the means to an end, they fully enjoy savoring
their woman with long sensuous play and delight in bestowing her
with pleasure as much as she enjoys receiving. Sex is more satisfying
for both partners. They are astutely aware that all the benefits
of foreplay put together are important components that will help
keep excitement alive and prevent love from eroding or diminishing,
thus creating a stronger more fulfilling relationship in every way.
Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed., is a sex advisor/educator and author
helping monogamous couples increase intimacy, be better lovers and
keep the passion alive. She is also author of the hot new sex guide
for couples titled, Smoldering Embers-Hot Erotic Stories and Sex
Tips to
Light a Couple's Fire. Subscribe to her FREE Monthly Ezine, Smoldering
Embers, and get hot sex tips, techniques and secrets guaranteed
to keep your fire burning. http://www.smolderingembers.com/
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