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Make
Your Sex Sizzle with Foreplay
By Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed
The
importance of foreplay is often underestimated and minimized
or even ridiculed. The informed experienced lover will know
that not only is foreplay one of the most passionate ways
to sweep his woman off her feet, but it also increases intimacy,
develops trust and care, promotes emotional connection,
deepens love and has the ability to enhance his satisfaction
as well.
First and foremost, adequate foreplay
is essential to a woman's satisfaction and her ability to
achieve orgasm. Women need extended stimulation to reach
optimal arousal. Adequate foreplay consists of
at least 15 minutes, but preferably 20 or more. This is
very important for couple's to know. Many women have difficulty
reaching orgasm or experience dissatisfaction with their
sexual adventures and often the only cause of these difficulties
is the lack of adequate foreplay. Foreplay is physiologically
necessary for women's pleasure, not an unnecessary request
she has created to make things more difficult for the male.
You can never spend too much time on foreplay. It can only
enhance the sexual encounter and the relationship even more.
Barefoot
Venus Bath & Body!
Foreplay has many other important
purposes to keep in mind. It shows your lover that you care
about her and her needs. The way you touch your woman indicates
to her how you feel about her and the way you feel about
her impacts how she will respond to you sexually and how
pleasurable the sex will be for her. It promotes emotional
connection and deepens intimacy, which are two more necessary
components for sex to be satisfying for the woman.
It is not only the female that benefits
from foreplay. On a biological level foreplay induces lubrication
for the woman and erection for the man. Taking time to sensuously
explore and relish one another's bodies can significantly
help with male sexual problems such as premature ejaculation
or impotence, creating harder erections, increased stamina
and more satisfying sex for the male as well. As men grow
older they may not get erect by sight alone as they once
did in younger years, extended periods of touching, kissing
and caressing can provide the necessary stimulation needed
for erection. Foreplay also builds passion and generates
fire making for a more electrifying sexual adventure for
both male and female.
Foreplay can include much more than
basic touching, kissing, holding and caressing. It can also
consist of words and behavior that will enhance the excitement
and passion. In addition to kissing, touching
and holding you might try giving her a loving compliment,
expressing affectionate feelings or giving her a gift such
as flowers, bath
goodies or lingerie. Foreplay does not always have to
begin immediately preceding the sexual act.
For a very special treat and to really
light her fire foreplay that begins in the morning and lasts
all day will work even better by producing a loving seduction.
The scenario might go something like this: you prepare your
lover breakfast or bring her tea and present it to her with
a big kiss, before you leave for the day place a sweet love
note in a special place for her to find, when you leave
for the day hold and kiss her with a deep passionate kiss,
then call her later in the day from work and asks how her
day is and tell her you love her, or in the call tell her
how much you want her and you can't wait to taste her, later
that day send her flowers or when you come home from work
bring her a beautiful gift, when you come in the door once
again she is greeted with hugs and kisses, before dinner
you give her a bath and caresses her feet or you take a
shower together, after dinner you clean up the kitchen and
tell her to go rest, then you join her in the living room
and give her a full body massage and spend at least 15 minutes
holding, kissing and licking. By this time her body will
be aching with desire.
This little dance will reap many
rewards for you. No, it's not realistic that you would do
all of these activities each time you want to make love,
but once in awhile would make her feel real special and
make her appreciate you so much. You will dazzle your woman
and have her melting in your arms. The loving act would
be remembered and generate a reciprocal effect in which
she will want to please you and the relationship will grow
stronger and deeper.
Sensuous undressing is another powerful
form of foreplay that can stimulate and intensify sexual
desire. Undress her very slowly with lots of soft gentle
kisses on the exposed body parts. Focus on one
piece of clothing at time. Look in her eyes while unbuttoning
or unzipping. Let her take your shirt off. Let her feel
your chest against hers. Hold and caress before moving to
more action.
Another trick to prolong satisfaction
and build even more desire is that once you have participated
in some extended stimulating foreplay and both of you can
hardly stand it anymore, then take the foreplay just a little
bit further and escalate your hungers to new heights.
As always, communication is the ever-important
factor in great sex. If your lover is not meeting your foreplay
needs, then you need to speak up and let them know. Tell
them what you need or what you would like to try. If speaking
the words out loud is too difficult then literally show
and guide him. Men, ask your woman what she needs. You can
assume that some basics all women will love, but they will
also have individual needs. You don't want to do something
she doesn't enjoy.
The enlightened lovers participation
in foreplay is not begrudging or the means to an end, they
fully enjoy savoring their woman with long sensuous play
and delight in bestowing her with pleasure as much as she
enjoys receiving. Sex is more satisfying for both partners.
They are astutely aware that all the benefits of foreplay
put together are important components that will help keep
excitement alive and prevent love from eroding or diminishing,
thus creating a stronger more fulfilling relationship in
every way.
Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed., is a sex advisor/educator and
author helping monogamous couples increase intimacy, be
better lovers and keep the passion alive. She is also author
of the hot new sex guide for couples titled, Smoldering
Embers-Hot Erotic Stories and Sex Tips to
Light a Couple's Fire. Subscribe to her FREE Monthly Ezine,
Smoldering Embers, and get hot sex tips, techniques and
secrets guaranteed to keep your fire burning. http://www.smolderingembers.com/
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