Learn to Love Your Body
by Susie Michelle Cortright
Twenty-four percent of women and
17 percent of men say they would give up more than three
years of life to be thinner. That’s according to a
poll conducted by Psychology Today magazine.
At the same time, studies show that
half of American women overestimate the size of their bodies.
Sociologists who study the western-world
phenomenon of poor body image attribute the problem to a
variety of factors, including media and cultural influences,
as well as parental and peer messages.
The advertising industry ties the
already complex issue of body image with materialism. A
slender body is associated with wealth, health, and attractiveness.
A heavier body is associated with sloth, indulgence, and
a lack of self-control.
Psychological factors can add to
the effect of media and culture. Girls who experienced sexual
abuse or an emotionally difficult puberty are more prone
to body dissatisfaction as adults. So are women who feel
they have little control over their lives.
Women who have felt the most brutal
blows from poor body image say it is not a single factor
acting in isolation. Jenifer Tracy, who battled bulimia
for nine years, says a combination of factors, such as a
non-supportive family environment and a poor self-image,
snowballed in the presence of cultural influences.
"If I had love for myself or
love from my family," Tracy says, "it would not
matter what a model looked like, and it would not affect
my personal self-esteem."
The Dangers
of Body Dissatisfaction
When we realize that it is a combination of influences that
lead to body dissatisfaction, we empower ourselves to solve
the problem. We can seize power by breaking the chain of
these influences
wherever we can.
Carolyn Strauss is a top plus-size
model, author of Specialty Modeling, and a nationally recognized
expert on body image issues, from fashion to self-esteem.
Her accomplishments now include her own
clothing collection featured on the Home Shopping Network.
Through it all, she helps other women move toward a more
positive body image. Strauss says the biggest danger of
a negative body image lies in the power it gives away.
"When someone has a poor body
image, she will try to find validation from outside to make
her feel better. The next diet, the next fashion fad, the
next boyfriend, anything but where she is now. Instead of
living in the moment, she may find herself living for ‘when
I look better," Strauss says. "Remember, the goal
of most advertising it to make you ‘not OK’ so
that, upon using that product, you will become OK. I say,
start OK and then you’ll only buy what you choose to
have for yourself."
Most of us can think of a time when
we thought a new haircut, diet, or lipstick would turn everything
around for us. But that mindset can lead to a lot of wasted
time and money. Constant self-monitoring
can also drain your energy, and it can even lead to depression
and hostility.
A University of Toronto study, published
in the International Journal of Eating Disorders, found
that women who were interviewed after seeing magazine ads
that featured female models showed a significant and immediate
decrease in self-esteem.
Poor body image can lead to crash
dieting and excessive exercise, which can, in turn, lead
to poor nutrition, injuries, and depression. In it’s
most dangerous form, a negative body image may fuel an eating
disorder or Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).
When you are continually distracted
with physical appearance, the energy of your mind, body,
and spirit is diverted from more salient endeavors.
Solutions
Seek help.
If you feel that your body image has become a pre-occupation,
don’t hesitate to talk to a counselor or therapist.
Amoreena Brewton, a mother with a background in sociology
and counseling, has conducted
research on women and body image. She says, "Some people
are too deeply entrenched in their body issues to resolve
them on their own. Often, there are personal or familial
issues at play when a person has an eating disorder, so
seeking professional help is highly recommended."
Tracy agrees. "In the end, my
success came from the deep desire to stop, which had been
inside of me for years, and then getting into serious therapy
with an eating disorder specialist. Having someone
who focuses on just that area was a true lifesaver."
Make small changes.
A global change in cultural and economic structures would,
no doubt, help us all achieve a more positive body image.
But there will likely always be supermodels, paid endorsements,
and the unstoppable "quest for the best" bandwagon.
Instead, enforce changes on a smaller
scale. Brewton suggests we stop allowing those negative
forces into our lives. "Don’t buy Cosmo, buy Redbook,"
she says. "Look at really powerful, intelligent successful
women whom you admire as often as possible. For example:
Oprah, Rosie, Hillary, Martha, your mom, your grandmother,
your daughter."
Use positive affirmations.
When you catch yourself commiserating over tight blue jeans,
don’t let your mind get stuck in the negativity. When
that negative voice does emerge, follow it with 10 positive
thoughts.
Tracy says repetition is key. "It
begins with re-recording the negative messages in your own
mind, which are so painful," she says. "I have
probably re-recorded that message over 500,000 times, and
I keep losing it. But it’s easier to find for the next
time."
There are tools to help you re-program
the thoughts you direct at yourself. One successful example
is the "Think Right Now" series of audiotapes
and software programs:
http://www.bestselfhelp.com/toprated/thinkrightnow.htm
Once you navigate yourself out of
the negativity rut, you’ll feel better about yourself,
and you’ll better understand your power to create and
maintain a healthier mind, body, and spirit.
Remember your spiritual connection.
"The first thing to remember is that the Universe does
not make mistakes," Strauss says. You are where you
are for a reason. Acknowledge this and then choose how to
proceed with the next
minute, hour, day, of your life."
For the religious and spiritual among
us, body image may instantly improve with the simple reminder
that God gave you the body you have for a reason. He didn’t
make you to look like Cindy Crawford because you aren’t
Cindy Crawford. He wants you to be healthy enough to do
your life’s work. To live and work at an optimum level.
So, accept His creation,
and nurture it.
Surround yourself with supportive
friends.
"As I began to recover little by little from bulimia,"
Tracy says. "I did not surround myself with people
who were as concerned about body size. I put myself among
beautiful, strong, and intelligent women who really put
little emphasis on looks."
Brewton also recommends surrounding
yourself with friends whose focus is not on exteriors. "Other
women can make the biggest difference in our lives by being
mentors and leading by example," Brewton says. She
suggests we find a group of women to meet with regularly
to discuss issues important to
our lives, but, she says, don’t focus solely on body
issues. "Obsessing as a group is no better than obsessing
as an individual," she says.
Find a group of supportive women,
either in your neighborhood or online. Then use this safe,
non-critical environment to empower one another.
Focus on health.
Change your relationship with food. Food is fuel for active
living. Strive not for a number on the scale but for a weight
at which you feel strong and energetic. Ask yourself if
your diet contributes - or takes away from - your health
and energy levels.
When we stop focusing on our bodies,
and begin to focus on our health, our bodies have an easier
time finding our optimal weight. Researchers at the Stanford
University School of Medicine have discovered that people
who start a weight-loss program when they feel happiest
about their body are more than twice as likely to lose weight
as people who are less satisfied.
Tracy proves that we can control
how much power food has over us. "One of the most important
factors in my success has been to eat everything and anything
I want, whenever. I do not diet, restrict,
or make rules for myself in any way. This sets my life up
so that I don’t ever feel restricted and needy for
food. It has taken a lot of the importance out of food for
me," Tracy says. "Since I quit my bulimic behaviors,
I have lost 15 pounds, my face and cheeks are not swollen,
and I feel really good."
Change your relationship with
exercise.
Regular exercise creates power and endurance, which can
help you enjoy more activities. Can you hike as far as you
like? Would you like to try kayaking? Do you know the joys
of a "runner’s high"?
Find an exercise you enjoy. If you
hate aerobic dance, don’t join an aerobics class. If
you hate the gym, don’t spend your time there. Instead,
experiment with exercises you’ve never tried before.
Is there an exercise that makes you feel physically empowered?
Do that one.
Motivate yourself to exercise by
reminding yourself about the burst of energy that inevitably
follows a workout.
Change your relationship with
your body.
When food becomes a tool for active living, and exercise
becomes a tool for increased strength, your body becomes
a tool for your mind. Suddenly, your body has the endurance
and power to do what the mind wills.
"Our bodies are miracles, walking
around in skin," Brewton says. You will never come
across a finer work of art or machinery."
Befriend your body, and ask yourself
how you want to spend your life energy. "Imagine for
a moment that you took all that time you spend thinking
about appearance and focused on how much you love your ability
to communicate well, or what a great mom you are, or ways
to solve the issue of
homelessness," Brewton says. "If you took that
negative energy and used it for good, not only would your
life improve, but the world would improve, as well."
About the Author
Susie Michelle Cortright is
the author of several books for women and founder of the
award-winning Momscape.com, a website designed to help busy
women find balance. Visit http://www.momscape.com
today and get Susie's *free* course-by-email "6 Days
to Less Stress."
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