Not a DI Dad Yet

[miliohara]

My wife and I are going to do DI. We do have alot of questions and I for one am not comfortable about it. I guess it has to do with it being strange to me and the fact that I found out recently that I will never have a child with my genes. I hate that fact. it hurts alot and I don't know who I can really talk to. I am affraid to talk with my wife because I know how important it is for her to have a child.I really want a child also but DI is a hard choice the only thing I like about DI so far is that at least the baby will have my wife's genes. Does anyone have any suggestions? Books or website with more information?

[Annie]

:wave: Welcome

We have some information here
http://www.maternitycorner.com/mcmag/articles/fertility/didecision.html

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/002861917X/dionlindonorinse is a good book to help you work through the issues

Also, at http://www.angelfire.com/bc/donorinsemination/

And please feel free to post any questions or concerns you may have here too!

[families_areforever]

Hi, I can talk to you if you wish. I have talked to a few husbands. I am a donor and I have found that it helps to become involved as much as you can and support your wife. You will always be the dad -- you will raise your children, teach them, and they and their children will grow up to honor you as their father and grandfather throughout the ages.

This applies to all dads -- to earn the love of your children, treat them like princes and princesses and serve them and respect them. And to really get their love, treat their mom like a queen, and don't be afraid to kiss her in front of them once in a while, and they will grow up to feel secure and know that their home is a safe haven to come home to, where they can feel emotionally secure. email if you wish to families_areforever@yahoo.com :bflip:

My wife and I are going to do DI. We do have alot of questions and I for one am not comfortable about it. I guess it has to do with it being strange to me and the fact that I found out recently that I will never have a child with my genes. I hate that fact. it hurts alot and I don't know who I can really talk to. I am affraid to talk with my wife because I know how important it is for her to have a child.I really want a child also but DI is a hard choice the only thing I like about DI so far is that at least the baby will have my wife's genes. Does anyone have any suggestions? Books or website with more information?

[DianeAllen]

My wife and I are going to do DI. We do have alot of questions ... Does anyone have any suggestions? Books or website with more information?

The decsion you are wrestling with is a very complex one that will have lifelong implications for you, your wife & the child you hope to have. You are definitely doing the right thing by trying to inform yourself & make sure it is the right one for you before proceeding. Fortunately, there are now a number of resources available to help you.

Check out the website of the Donor Conception Network (DCN). See:
* Under their 'PLANNING A FAMILY" set of leaflets: a letter from Walter to would-be DI Dads
* Their discussion forums where you can chat freely to other DCN members, including dads
* several books & videos

Also, take a look at these sites which were set up by a DI dad:
* http://www/di-dad.blogspot.com
• http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/di_dads

The small charity I run sells many books on donor conception, including the following which would address some of your concerns:
* Building a Family with the Assistance of Donor Insemination, by Ken Daniels, internationally renowned counsellor, researcher, author, Professor of Social Work & policy consultant to governments, professional & patient organizations. Leader of preparation seminars for those considering DI.
* Experiences of Donor Conception: Parents, Offspring and Donors through the Years by Caroline Lorbach, mother of 3 children via DI, consumer advocate for the Donor Conception Support Group of Australia (whose website, http://www.dcsg.org.au you would probably also find very helpful)

In addition, we offer an extensive information kit on donor conception which includes many personal stories by both men & women who talk about some of the feelings they experienced when they were 1st trying to make the decsion, and then how they felt later, over the years, as their child grew up.

We regularly run seminars on donor conception which include speakers who are parents or adult offspring via DI, counsellors & researchers. All of the past seminars are available on tape for a nominal fee. Click on "Store" at http://www.InfertilityNetwork.org for complete details.

Lastly, we have a list of counsellors in Canada & the USA who have a lot of knowledge & understanding of the complex issues involved in donr conception; you might find it helpful to speak to one of them, either in person or by phone if you live too far away. I'd be happy to send you a copy if you email me at Info@InfertilityNetwork.org

Hope this helps!

[ml66uk]

This story is about DI dads:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2006-06-14-insemination-dads_x.htm

and the group that Diane mentioned earlier is also very good:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/di_dads

[ml66uk]

The correct link for the blog that Diane mentioned is here:

http://www.di-dad.blogspot.com

The di_dads Yahoo group and the blog are run by the same guy, and there are currently 56 members in the Yahoo group.


This link might also be useful. It's a letter from Walter of the Donor Conception Network to would-be DI Dads:

http://www.donor-conception-network.org/baselibletts2.htm

[DI Bob]

Hi, miliohara

I'm a member of the DI Dad's Yahoo group Diane mentioned -

http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/di_dads

I'd like to invite you to join. There are more than 50 members now. Of those of us who are active posters, a few of us are DI dads, most are either thinking about DI or trying to conceive via DI.

There's lots of information contained in the previous posts, so you can sit back and read, or choose to join the discussion. If you haven't already, I encourage you to join.

Bob