Tami - you birth mom's & birth dad's reaction...

[Annie]

You mentioned in another post that your birth dad wasn't too sure about you at first ;)
What did your birth mom think?
Did you seek them out and they were somewhat suprised?? I'd love to hear the story!

[tami]

First of all my mom knew my birth mom. my mom couldn't have babies and Jean (my birth mom) already had 2. A girl that was 6 and a 3 year old boy. The girl remembers everything about me being adopted. My mom told me the kids name and birth mom name (her maiden name)..
jean was about to be married when I was 1 year old and she didnt want the new husband to know about me. mom never saw her after that.
jean was married 5xs.

when mom had cancer for the 3rd and last time. the doctors will tell me to get check for that kind of cancer, I told him that I was adopted.
5 months before mom passed away, I sat her down and asked her if she knew any more names or anything that I could use to find her.
I wanted to make sure she knew I wasn't replacing her. and all I wanted it for is for some day I might need med info.
mom remembered another name that jean had from a marriage.
that's all I needed to find her. 1 month before mom passed away I was playing on the computer and went to search angle and just asked.

within 5 days they gave me all kinds of info about her.

I was taking care of my mom 24/7 and knew she didnt have long to live that i really didnt want to deal with looking up this person. so I gave my info that I had to my cousin. and told her someday i will check it out but not now. I could not handle it. mom was gonna die soon of cancer.

mom passed away dec. 4th a little over a year ago.
my cousin called me 4 days after mom passed away and said I think I just talked to your bmom. my cousin called all the phones # that was on that info sheet. and found her. I was pissed and very upset:cry: with her because mom was only dead for 4 days.

I asked cheryl(cousin ) what she said. she said that she asked her if she gave up a daughter up for adoption? and jean said "No it wasnt her" and jean asked "if my mom was still alive and where did I lived?' cheryl knew she couldnt talk because someone was sitting right there next to her. it was her husband of 42 years and didnt know anything about me.

cheryl told her that I lived in bradenton and mom passed away.

by 6pm bmom cousin called my house and asked for me by my maiden name. I told her it was me. and she told me that it was my birth mom that cheryl talked to and she couldnt talked because her husband was sitting right there and she told me all about her and she told me who my bdad was. and she said that when jean's husband goes to bed tonight she wants to call me. I told her it was find if she calls.

by 10pm jean called me and we talked over 2 hours that night. she said that my birthsister and her was trying to fine me a couple of years ago, and they couldnt find anything on me. and she was sooo happy that I found her, but she need time to tell her husband.

she told him within a week. he took it better then I thought he would. he is a wonderful person. and said if he knew, he would have help in the search for me.

she wants me to call her mom, but I'm not there yet. kwim? she great and all, but I had a mom.

the same night that jean cousin called me, she called bdad and asked him "if he had heard from tami" and he said "no! he havent gotten any phone calls from me."

he got scared and after that he would not answer the phone and he even took his name off his mailbox.:lol:

Jean tried calling him and my cousin tried calling him and so did I and that bugger didnt answer the phone for about a month. he just didnt know what I wanted he didnt know all I wanted was med info, and if anything went from there that would be nice.

my cousin came down from tenn. and said lets go for a drive and I said where? and she said lets go see if your bdad is home. so off we went he lives about an hour and half away.

we found his house and cheryl went to the door and nobody was home.
so we went to jean cousin house and I got to meet her, great lady. i just love her to death. we stayed at her house for 2 hours then we headed back to see if bdad was home and he was.

I stayed in the car when cheryl went up to the door and asked him if he was bob and he said yes he was, then cheryl yelled out to me and said I found him. and she looked and him and said there is your daughter tami.

he was scared, he took us in his house and we talked and I told him all I need was med. info. and he told me all about his family and his kids.
cheryl took a picture of me and him together and he said I would love to have that picture when you get them.I told him I will mail it.

I really didnt think he wanted anything to do with me and that was ok with me.
I sent him the picture a few days later and when he got it he called me. and we talk forever that night.
he found out that I wasnt the devil and I wasnt there to get whatever he has.
after that we been very close.:-D I'm closer to him then I'm with jean. I like jean alot. but she trying to hard to be my mom and I allready had a mom. never had a dad. :-D

I know that story is long. but that is how it went.

[Annie]

Wow! Thanks so much for sharing your story -- very interesting!
:hug:

[tami]

ps. I get along great with birth sister on bmom side and I get along great with bbrother on bdad side. I dont talk as much as I would like with bbrother on bmom side. I do get alone with him.

dad and I are sharing a cabin on the cruise that we are takeing.

I'm going with bdad and bbrother and his family. we leave in 21 days.

[Faith]

I was lurking and am really moved by your story. My daughter (2-yrs-old) was adopted from an orphanage and we don't have any info about her bmom or bdad.

Were you always curious about your bparents or only after you became an adult? I know that I will be open and honest when my daughter has questions. The hard thing is that no one has the answers.

Take care Tami. And thanks for sharing your story.
~Nan

[tami]

Hello faith,
I have known about my birth my whole life.
mom was allway up front about. and she would try and tell me all kind of stuff.
but when I was younger I really didnt care much about it. so it really wasnt that important to me.kwim?

it stated hitting me when i turned 18, the day of my birthday i would wondered if bmom knew if it was my birthday and if she would find me and call.

then in my 20s I started thinking what kind of people they were and that scared me some. thinking they might be in prison or on drugs or something.

the day I turned 30 I sat home all day wondering if she would call or knew that it was my birthday.
I still didnt look for her, i was just hoping they was looking for me. I didnt want to Interfere in their life.
but! if they were looking for me then I would be ok with that. as long as they werent from another plant.

my mom will allways be my mom. and I'm really glad that I did found them. just to get to know them.
and they are very sweet people.

one day your daughter is gunna ask some questions, and just be as truthful as you can. and be open to her about it.
just rememeber the orphanage that she was at. and maybe some day she can fine the info she needs.

and she might just be like me, i didnt start looking untill the doctor told me that I should have med info.
I dont think I would have looked for them if the doctor didnt get me to start thinking about my med history. :unsure: