Annie
08-18-2004, 12:57 PM
Website tracks sperm-donor dads.
By Norma Greenaway. CanWest News Service
[A shorter version of this article appeared in The Ottawa Citizen, Aug.
3/04, http://www.canada.com/ under the headline:
'Website links offspring to anonymous sperm donors
3,000 individuals post information to site; 500 matches already made']
American youngster Ryan Kramer's frustration over gaps in his biological
history led to the founding 4 years ago of an informal Internet registry
aimed at matching half-siblings born from anonymous sperm donors. Last week,
Ryan Kramer, 14, and his mother Wendy Kramer of Colorado celebrated the
500th match on their website of a donor offspring and their half-sibling.
Their joy was incomplete, however, because Ryan Kramer has yet to be in
touch with any half-siblings even though he knows he has at least two.
More than 3,000 individuals and families hoping to find a match have posted
their information on the site, including things such as the names of clinics
and doctors who did the insemination and, if one is available, the ID number
of the anonymous donor. Among them are 25 Canadians who report they were
conceived with donor sperm at clinics or doctor's offices in Toronto,
Vancouver and Halifax. There have been no Canadian matches so far, but Wendy
Kramer says she's optimistic there will be some once more people hear about
DonorSiblingRegistry.com.
The site took off in the United States after Kramer, who is divorced, and
her son appeared on TV's Oprah. Sadly, she says, it produced new frustration
for Ryan. A woman wrote an e-mail immediately after seeing Ryan on
television saying she was sure she had given birth to two girls using sperm
from the same anonymous donor as Wendy at California Cryobank. She said she
knew it as soon as she saw Ryan's face on television. On top of that, the
sperm donor number - 1058 - was a match. "That was on Ryan's 13th birthday
on May 22, 2003. He was beside himself. We were jumping up and down. The
half sisters were 7 and 10 at the time."
A day later, the celebrations ended. The woman, whose family lives on the
U.S. East Coast, wrote to tell Ryan he could not meet his half sisters
because she and her husband don't plan to tell their children they are
products of donor insemination. "It's very, very upsetting for my son,"
Kramer says. "It's been a hard thing for him to go forward with, knowing
these girls are there, and that they don't know he exists." Kramer says she
hopes the girls' parents will change their minds over time, but that neither
she nor her son will push them. Still, she can't help wondering why the
woman wrote in the first place. "I think maybe she was swept away by the
moment," Kramer says.
Toronto filmmaker Barry Stevens, whose documentary ŒOffspring¹ told the
story of his search for his biological family, says he's impressed with the
success rate on the Kramers' website. "500 matches is really impressive," he
said. Stevens, born 52 years ago in England through donor insemination, is a
leading activist in the effort to end the right in Canada for donors to
remain anonymous. Stevens, using DNA typing, has found a half sister and
half brother in London, but still has not tracked down his biological
father.
New federal legislation, which was enacted into law in May, will require
sperm banks and fertility clinics to keep more thorough medical records on
donors, but it does not require disclosure of the donor¹s identity to the
offspring. The legislation also prohibits paying sperm donors beyond such
costs as parking. Donors were commonly paid between $50 and $75. Proponents
of ending donor anonymity hope the legislation will be amended to require
disclosure when it comes up for review in 3 years. Opponents say forcing
donors to disclose their identity to any offspring will lead to sperm
shortages. They also say laws in most provinces need to be changed first to
make sure donors and offspring can't go after each other for money or other
support.
Stevens says the Internet has become a major tool for people searching for
their biological relatives, and that its usefulness, along with the
increased availability of DNA typing, makes it harder for donors to remain
anonymous. "People think they can hide behind a screen of anonymity, but
it's going to be harder and harder to do so."
Stevens says he understands the burning desire of many donor insemination
offspring to find their biological father and possible siblings. "Not
knowing is kind of a gap in your story," said Stevens, the father of one
child. "And everybody tells a story about themselves, and tells a story to
their children. That story, if it is missing an early chapter, can be quite
a compelling reason to want to do that (find the genetic relatives)." He
says his now five-year-old relationship with his half-brother, a British
civil servant, is one of the most important in his life. "We're very close,"
he said. "How can you explain the pull of genetic relatedness. It's very
powerful."
Olivia Pratten of Vancouver, also the product of donor insemination, has
registered on the Kramers' website but says she doesn't expect to score a
match. Pratten, 22, says most of the easy sibling matches result from
matching donor identity numbers, and she does not have one for her anonymous
biological father. Pratten says she has put on hold her personal quest to
find her genetic relatives. But she says she will never stop speaking out in
favor of ending donor anonymity so others won't have to live with the
mystery hanging over her head. "I had to let go of wanting to know my
personal story for my own sanity," she said in a telephone interview.
"Barring some weird, freakish miracle, I don't think it's ever going to
happen."
By Norma Greenaway. CanWest News Service
[A shorter version of this article appeared in The Ottawa Citizen, Aug.
3/04, http://www.canada.com/ under the headline:
'Website links offspring to anonymous sperm donors
3,000 individuals post information to site; 500 matches already made']
American youngster Ryan Kramer's frustration over gaps in his biological
history led to the founding 4 years ago of an informal Internet registry
aimed at matching half-siblings born from anonymous sperm donors. Last week,
Ryan Kramer, 14, and his mother Wendy Kramer of Colorado celebrated the
500th match on their website of a donor offspring and their half-sibling.
Their joy was incomplete, however, because Ryan Kramer has yet to be in
touch with any half-siblings even though he knows he has at least two.
More than 3,000 individuals and families hoping to find a match have posted
their information on the site, including things such as the names of clinics
and doctors who did the insemination and, if one is available, the ID number
of the anonymous donor. Among them are 25 Canadians who report they were
conceived with donor sperm at clinics or doctor's offices in Toronto,
Vancouver and Halifax. There have been no Canadian matches so far, but Wendy
Kramer says she's optimistic there will be some once more people hear about
DonorSiblingRegistry.com.
The site took off in the United States after Kramer, who is divorced, and
her son appeared on TV's Oprah. Sadly, she says, it produced new frustration
for Ryan. A woman wrote an e-mail immediately after seeing Ryan on
television saying she was sure she had given birth to two girls using sperm
from the same anonymous donor as Wendy at California Cryobank. She said she
knew it as soon as she saw Ryan's face on television. On top of that, the
sperm donor number - 1058 - was a match. "That was on Ryan's 13th birthday
on May 22, 2003. He was beside himself. We were jumping up and down. The
half sisters were 7 and 10 at the time."
A day later, the celebrations ended. The woman, whose family lives on the
U.S. East Coast, wrote to tell Ryan he could not meet his half sisters
because she and her husband don't plan to tell their children they are
products of donor insemination. "It's very, very upsetting for my son,"
Kramer says. "It's been a hard thing for him to go forward with, knowing
these girls are there, and that they don't know he exists." Kramer says she
hopes the girls' parents will change their minds over time, but that neither
she nor her son will push them. Still, she can't help wondering why the
woman wrote in the first place. "I think maybe she was swept away by the
moment," Kramer says.
Toronto filmmaker Barry Stevens, whose documentary ŒOffspring¹ told the
story of his search for his biological family, says he's impressed with the
success rate on the Kramers' website. "500 matches is really impressive," he
said. Stevens, born 52 years ago in England through donor insemination, is a
leading activist in the effort to end the right in Canada for donors to
remain anonymous. Stevens, using DNA typing, has found a half sister and
half brother in London, but still has not tracked down his biological
father.
New federal legislation, which was enacted into law in May, will require
sperm banks and fertility clinics to keep more thorough medical records on
donors, but it does not require disclosure of the donor¹s identity to the
offspring. The legislation also prohibits paying sperm donors beyond such
costs as parking. Donors were commonly paid between $50 and $75. Proponents
of ending donor anonymity hope the legislation will be amended to require
disclosure when it comes up for review in 3 years. Opponents say forcing
donors to disclose their identity to any offspring will lead to sperm
shortages. They also say laws in most provinces need to be changed first to
make sure donors and offspring can't go after each other for money or other
support.
Stevens says the Internet has become a major tool for people searching for
their biological relatives, and that its usefulness, along with the
increased availability of DNA typing, makes it harder for donors to remain
anonymous. "People think they can hide behind a screen of anonymity, but
it's going to be harder and harder to do so."
Stevens says he understands the burning desire of many donor insemination
offspring to find their biological father and possible siblings. "Not
knowing is kind of a gap in your story," said Stevens, the father of one
child. "And everybody tells a story about themselves, and tells a story to
their children. That story, if it is missing an early chapter, can be quite
a compelling reason to want to do that (find the genetic relatives)." He
says his now five-year-old relationship with his half-brother, a British
civil servant, is one of the most important in his life. "We're very close,"
he said. "How can you explain the pull of genetic relatedness. It's very
powerful."
Olivia Pratten of Vancouver, also the product of donor insemination, has
registered on the Kramers' website but says she doesn't expect to score a
match. Pratten, 22, says most of the easy sibling matches result from
matching donor identity numbers, and she does not have one for her anonymous
biological father. Pratten says she has put on hold her personal quest to
find her genetic relatives. But she says she will never stop speaking out in
favor of ending donor anonymity so others won't have to live with the
mystery hanging over her head. "I had to let go of wanting to know my
personal story for my own sanity," she said in a telephone interview.
"Barring some weird, freakish miracle, I don't think it's ever going to
happen."