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Breastfeeding
in Public
by Elizabeth Pantley
In
many parts of the world, the sight of a nursing mother is an ordinary
aspect of daily life. In our society, however, some people are
still uncomfortable seeing a mother breastfeed in public. Slowly
but surely, though, people are coming to see breastfeeding as
the natural, normal way of feeding a baby that it is. And thanks
to public education campaigns, people are becoming more knowledgeable
about the many benefits of breastfeeding.
Your
legal right to breastfeed
Society has conditioned many people to view breasts only from
a sexual standpoint and not as a body part with a crucial biological
function - to feed a baby. Breastfeeding is the natural default
for baby feeding -- not bottlefeeding -- yet no one harangues
a woman who is feeding her baby from a bottle in a public place.
If anyone even suggests that you shouldn't be feeding your baby
in public, be aware that you are well within your rights. Keep
in mind that it's the onlooker's problem, not yours.
From
a legal perspective, you have a right to breastfeed your baby
in public anywhere in the United States. Some states have gone
so far as to implement specific legislation to that effect to
protect the rights of both babies and their mothers; these states
have set out legal consequences for violations, too. As of this
writing, 17 states have passed laws that say you can breastfeed
your baby in any public or private location; thirteen more exempt
breastfeeding from public indecency laws. This may lead you to
believe that the act is legal only in those states with legislation.
The fact is, you have a legal right to breastfeed your baby in
public even without a specific law. Don't be shy about letting
an impolite person know this. For more information about the legal
aspects of breastfeeding in public, check out the website of Elizabeth
N. Baldwin, an attorney who specializes in this issue [www.compromisesolutions.com].
In
Canada, the Human Rights Code protects women from discrimination
on the basis of sex. Breastfeeding in public is not specifically
labeled as a protected activity; however, many people are lobbying
to explicitly include breastfeeding under this human rights code.
What
about breastfeeding when in foreign countries?
It's best to respect the customs native to the country you are
visiting. Even if you think you should breastfeed wherever you
please, it's important to understand and adhere to local customs.
If you don't see other women breastfeeding their babies, then
ask around. Talk to a woman with young children, ask a health
professional, or do a little research. Once you know what is typically
acceptable, then you can proceed confidently without risk of offending
anyone, breaking a law, or embarrassing yourself.
Getting
comfortable breastfeeding in public
Although you have the right to feed your baby in public, there
is still the issue of your feelings about doing so. Each woman
has her own comfort level. Most women want to find the right balance
of pride and modesty -- not overly exposing themselves, while
feeling comfortable knowing that people are aware that they are
breastfeeding. You'll probably need some practice with the particulars,
simply because breastfeeding is a function that involves a private
part of your anatomy that is normally not exposed in public. Wanting
to be discreet doesn't mean that you are embarrassed or ashamed
to feed your baby; it simply means that you don't want to cause
yourself or others social discomfort.
The
biggest issue for most new mothers is learning how to get settled
with your baby modestly. Even a new mother who is breastfeeding
with ease at home may fumble and struggle when she perceives that
she has an audience; her tension then causes her impatient baby
to cry. That only deepens the feeling that all eyes are on her.
The reality is that most people are paying attention to their
own activities and their own private conversations, by and large
ignorant of what's happening with other people. Once you become
adept breastfeeding discreetly, you'll be able to comfortably
nurse your baby anywhere. All it takes is a little practice.
PARENT
TIP
"Always remember that what you are doing is necessary,
beautiful, and miraculous. Breastfeed your baby with pride."
~ Deborah, mother to Peter (five), Jeremy (three), and Claire
(one)
Tips
for breastfeeding in public
-
Give yourself permission to feel comfortable about nursing your
baby in public. Feeding your baby is a natural, normal part
of mothering, whether you are at home or out in public.
-
Dress
for breastfeeding. Wear a shirt or sweater that can be lifted
up or unbuttoned from the bottom. When you lift from the bottom,
the top portion of your shirt helps cover you from the top,
and your baby covers you from the bottom. Whatever portion of
your breast is shown while feeding your baby is certainly much
less than is shown in the typical television show, magazine
or at your local beach or public swimming pool.
-
Try a nursing cover-up or a breastfeeding
garment with a built-in flap. Many are so beautifully made
that even under the most careful scrutiny, they don't look like
nursing clothes. Most stores that sell maternity
clothing also sell nursing apparel. Even if you don't use
these at home, they may help you feel more comfortable when
in public.
-
Bring along a small baby blanket. Some babies are fine with
having a blanket thrown over your shoulder and over their heads,
but many are very good at pulling such a blanket off. A good
alternative is to bring the blanket up from below, and tent
it around your baby, to cover you as you settle your little
one to the breast. The blanket can be loosely placed to create
privacy, or even removed once you're settled.
-
Use your sling
as a nursing cover-up. Baby slings are wonderful for nursing
your baby on the go because they hold your baby perfectly in
the nursing position while providing extra fabric for a screen.
Some brands have a "tail" at the end that doubles
as an extra blanket to keep the baby from trying to peek out
while nursing.
-
Feed your baby at the first sign of hunger, because hungry babies
aren't quietly patient! If you wait until your baby is crying
to be fed, then you may become nervous; your baby may move about
and make the latch-on difficult. Instead, if you nurse him promptly,
you can be more relaxed about getting him settled.
-
Remember that the alternative to public breastfeeding is usually
public crying. Whether you're in a restaurant, at church, or
on an airplane, people typically would prefer that you feed
your baby than let him cry, fuss or otherwise disrupt the peace.
I remember once attending a live play with a very antsy two-year-old:
my son, David. When I finally settled him on my lap to breastfeed,
the gentleman sitting beside me actually said, "Thank you!"
This
article is an excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley.
(McGraw-Hill, 2003)
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