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Making
Time for Romance
By Edel
Jarboe
Connecting
with your partner emotionally and physically is a soothing balm
for our frazzled lives. A foot massage and a sympathetic ear give
us the chance to recharge our selves and our love lives. But after
a long day of putting out fires at work,handling numerous phone
calls, writing up that report, shuttling the kids back and forth,
cooking, doing laundry, walking the dog, etc., etc.- the last thing
on your mind is romance. With so much competing for our attention
it is easy to focus on everything but each other. So, how do you
find the time to connect with your sweetie? Make intimacy a habit
just like your morning coffee and bagel by adding it into your daily
routine.
1.
Compliment each other on the things you like and appreciate about
each other every day. Let your partner know that he/she is in your
thoughts and in your heart.
2.
Create your own simple rituals that show that you care about each
other. Find a way to connect during the day with a note, a phone
call, or an email.
3.
Listen without giving advice, taking responsibility, or trying to
"fix" things. Let your mate enjoy the luxury of knowing that you
are really listening. Only give feedback if your mate asks for it.
4.
Talk to each other about what's going on in your lives besides the
day-to-day running of the household or office talk. Share what you
are feeling.
5.
Hold each other. A simple hug can do wonders.
6.
Instead of the standard, "How was your day?" exchange, pick at least
one good thing about your day and share it with each other.
7.
Give each other a kiss when coming and going.
8.
Laugh together - often.
9.
Plan a regular "date" night once a week.
10.
Say the words "I love you."
You
may be thinking that your relationship is the one thing in your
hectic life that is stress-free, so why change things? While there
is a certain level of comfort and predictability in a long-term
relationship, the danger is that you may stop listening and may
stop "being there" for your relationship. Knowing your mate inside
and out can also give both of you the illusion that you can read
each other's minds. And this can lead to misunderstandings which,
when piled on top of each other, can lead to relationship disasters.
Talk to each other. Listen. Ask questions. Don't assume. As you
continue to grow and change as an individual, so will your relationship.
Keep the lines of communication open by not tuning each other out.
This doesn't just apply to verbal communication either. If your
mate feels more like a roommate than a lover, perhaps you should
incorporate more "togetherness" into your daily routines. Love is
in the little things, in the day-to-day details of our lives.
Edel
Jarboe is the founder and of Simpler Living (http://www.simplerliving.com),
an online magazine helping you balance work, family, and life. She
also publishes a free weekly newsletter, which features personal
happiness tips, time management tips, and advice on goal setting,
stress management, coping with difficult people, and overcoming
obstacles. Past Issues: http://www.simplerliving.com/sln.htm
Subscribe: mailto:subscribe@simplerliving.com?subject=Subscribe
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